


Eternal Nightmare

by zoepeanut



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 18:57:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoepeanut/pseuds/zoepeanut
Summary: Zeref's childhood was everything he imagined it would be. He had a brother, and two loving parents that gave him everything he ever wanted. While he was a bit anti-social, he always managed to connect with Natsu at home. However, in a single moment everything changed. In one day, he lost everything, and that was the start of his own never-ending nightmare.





	Eternal Nightmare

Zeref’s home had been a bright place to live in, before the day his brother died. The living room was open, filled with light during the day from the two windows viewing their front yard on one wall. Resting between the two windows was a white sofa, the only seat in the room that was often filled with their small family on nights when they relaxed and watched movies together. With glossy, light wooden floors, the room had a natural feel to it. The lack of walls lead to an openness, and a view of the kitchen from their seat on the sofa. While a television did rest awkwardly in between the living room and kitchen, it was still easy to maneuver around.

In the kitchen was where it had started. There, trim rested midway up the wall, marking where wallpaper ended and the white, painted wall began. The wallpaper was strange, with green lines separating the columns of red apples decorating the lower walls. It had been there for as long as Zeref remembered, likely a styling choice of the previous owner. It had been late at night, and Zeref was supposed to be asleep. However, his mind had been restless, filled with imaginings of what would happen next in the book he had been reading at the time. He could no longer recall exactly which book of the series it had been, but it had been one of the middle books within A Series of Unfortunate Events. He found it rather ironic, that he had been reading a series with that title when it began.

His parents had been awake when he left his small bedroom for the sofa. Since the small house forced him to share his room with Natsu, Zeref wanted to leave to let his little brother sleep without disturbance. However, he had to keep himself hidden from his parents at the same time. As a result, he didn’t bother touching the switch that would turn on the lamp that rested next to the sofa. Instead, he brought a small flashlight, hoping that the fainter glow would not attract their attention. With the light in the kitchen already turned on, it seemed like he had found success. He nestled into the soft cushions of the sofa to finish the final chapters of his book, so he could finally get some sleep after having some form of completeness to the tale he was invested in.

As he sat with his legs dangling from the sofa, Zeref began hunching over to see the words better of the novel in his lap. From the kitchen, he could hear faint voices that created a hum of background noise he tried to tune out. At first, it was easy. His parents were never that loud, not when they were talking about stuff that kids weren’t supposed to hear. Zeref had never heard them raise their voices at anyone, and they were always smiling when Natsu and he were around. It made for a happy life, however, Zeref never realized how ignorant he had been.

The more he read, the louder his parents got. It made him frown slightly, lifting his head towards the kitchen. There, his mother and father stood close together. His mother leaned back against the counter on the right side of the kitchen. It was attached to the wall, an island of its own in the center of the room. Opposite of her was his father, standing by the black stove. His mother’s hands were braced on the counter, and her long pink hair was down in tangled strands that needed to be brushed after her long day. His father, however, was speaking animatedly, his hands gesturing towards her as he stepped closer to Mom.

Watching them calmly, Zeref flicked off the light in his hand and replaced the bookmark in his novel. Setting it aside on the cushions on the sofa, his black eyes stared into the kitchen and he tilted his head slightly, biting the inside of his cheek. “You can’t tell me this isn’t a problem! I understand you lost your job before, but that doesn’t mean you can just stop trying to help us earn a living.”

His mother looked away after Dad’s louder comment, avoiding his gaze. Zeref could see the hint of her black eyes, matching both his own and his brothers, from under her bangs. “I’m sorry…I just wanted to stay home, to take care of Natsu and Zeref…”

“You think I don’t want that too? If we don’t have any money, how can we afford to feed them? To give them a house to live in?” Glaring, his father stepped closer to her as his voice began growing louder yet again. “I’m tired of going hungry just so we can keep those brats of yours fed!”

His mother gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. “How…how can you call them that? You raised them too…your their father…”

“No, I’m not.” His father’s voice grew quieter, making Zeref frown at his comment. He didn’t understand what it had meant. “Those kids are ruining everything…sure, things were fine before, but now that we’re struggling, I’m the one suffering just so you can spoil them! As the one earning every penny we have, I say they deserve to go hungry for once! Maybe, then they’ll understand that everything isn’t perfect in this little world you’ve built for them.”

“Stop it! They’re just children, even if…even if they aren’t yours, you still treated them as if they were.” Tears were in his mother’s eyes, and her hands had dropped to her sides, clenched into fists. “Yes, we’ve been struggling…and I know, you haven’t been happy lately, but we can try…we can bring back the good times. We have so many memories together….I don’t want to just throw them away, because of this. Let Zeref and Natsu enjoy as much of their childhood as they can…I don’t mind not having as much comfort as before, so long as they’re happy.”

A snapping sound filled the room as Zeref stared in wide eyes at his father. Dad had slapped his mother’s cheek, leaving her skin slowly turning a faint shade of pink. A slight gasp escaped Zeref, before he leaned back in his seat and covered his mouth. Luckily, his father was too focused on Mom to notice. “Memories fade away, and I’m tired of all of you. If you won’t see reason…then I’ll make you understand the pain I’ve gone through, just so your children can steal away everything of mine!”

As his mother held a hand to her cheek, she closed her eyes and her shoulders shook slightly. Rising to his feet, Zeref realized there was a reason he had a bedtime after all. Mom didn’t want him to see things like this, to see her getting hurt because of Dad. Biting his lip, he turned towards the hallway to his right, wondering what he could do to help. Something had to be wrong with Dad, because he would never hurt any of them. As he gazed at the hall, Zeref blinked in surprise at another figure walking out from the shadows. Rubbing a hand against his eyes, a familiar pink-haired boy walked closer with a frown.

Moving quickly, Zeref tried to get to Natsu before his brother could speak. However, the boy was far to curious after being woken up by the loud voices. “Mom? Wha’s going on?” His voice was slightly slurred, and based on the way Natsu’s eyes drooped, he was about to fall back asleep. Dressed in oversized gold-striped pajamas with long sleeves and a button-up shirt, Natsu seemed to not have taken any time after getting out of bed. At least Zeref had decided to change before leaving, though he had kept his outfit simple with a plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants.

Turning towards them, Zeref watched his father scowl and walk closer to them. Only now did Zeref notice the bottle dangling loosely from Dad’s hand. He quickly took a swig from it, before slamming it on the counter. Mom flinched at the sound, turning towards him. She reached out, grabbing his shoulder, but Dad only slapped her arm away harshly. “Leave her alone.” Zeref’s quiet voice made his father snort, shaking his head.

“Stay out of this, boys. Go back to bed, this is grown-up talk right now.”

With a hand on his hip, his father seemed confident in getting them to listen. Natsu stepped closer, touching Zeref’s arm with a frown. Questions seemed to dance in his eyes, but Zeref couldn’t answer them. “No…you said…you said we weren’t yours. That means we don’t have to listen to you…and I won’t let you treat Mom like that.” Stepping closer, Zeref felt a strange confidence growing in him. Maybe his Dad was bigger, but Dad would never hurt him either. They were a family, so he just had to distract his father and make the man realize that this was just a mistake. Then, he could apologize and things could go back to normal again.

Glaring at him, Dad came closer. “Oh, you heard that did you? Well, newsflash boys, I’m not your father.”

“Jonathan!” His mother’s harsh shout came from the kitchen, with a pained look in her already moist eyes.

“Oh, quiet down, it’s not like they wouldn’t have learned eventually.” Waving her off, Dad turned back towards Zeref. There were red lines in his eyes and he seemed to be off balance for some reason. “I married into this family because I cared about your mother very much…but to be quite honest, you two were always a pain to deal with.” Natsu seemed to blink up at him, frowning from behind Zeref’s shoulder. Since he was two years younger, Natsu’s head only reached up to Zeref’s chest, making the boy have to move to see his father’s gaze. “I lived a good life before I came into this home. I worked hard, earned a living, and I always had enough money to keep myself alive. Granted, it wasn’t perfect, but it was comfortable.”

Zeref had already heard this from the shouts before. “If that is all you want…then go ahead, eat what you want. Just…leave Mom and Natsu alone…and stop saying things like that to them.” With his hands shaking, Zeref glared at his father. “I can survive with hunger…and that will satisfy what you desired before.”

Chuckling, his father reached forward and ruffled Zeref’s hair. “You know, you were always the bright one out of you two boys. So, tell me Zeref, just what is wrong with that plan?”

Frowning, Zeref glanced down at his feet. The idea had come impulsively, as a way to calm his father down enough for them to all go to sleep. Closing his eyes, Zeref thought back to the books he had read, trying to find anything that would make it fail. “I…I suppose you eat more than I do. However, even a small amount—“ Before he could continue trying to argue, he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. It was a foreign sensation, similar in a way to the tingling feeling of waking up a limb that had fallen asleep. However, it was more painful than that, and the tingling seemed to stay around longer than the tingling he got in his arms every now and then.

Rubbing his cheek, he wondered if it would make the pain go away. However, as he did so, Natsu seemed to charge out from behind him. Frowning, Zeref wondered just why his brother was practically growling under his breath, glaring at their father; he had not made the connection between the pain in his cheek to his father’s lifted arm. “You’re the real monster! Zeref was just trying to help, and you hit him!” Blinking at Natsu, Zeref dropped his hand and gazed at his open palm instead. Had his father hit him too, just like he had Mom? It seemed almost unreal, like this was just an absurd dream. Maybe, he would open his eyes and the nightmare would be over. 

Another slap came, this time crashing down towards Natsu. However, Natsu had always been the more athletic of the two siblings. Ducking out of the way, Natsu dodged the hit and grinned triumphantly at his father. He slammed his small fist into his father’s leg, looking confident that he had actually done something to retaliate against the man. “Ha! I got you, just like you got him. Not so tough now, are you? I bet I can take you on. Just you watch, Zeref. While you take care of Mom, I’ll make sure you don’t get hurt either.”

Turning his head over his shoulder, Natsu gave his brother a slight smirk. That toothy grin was so familiar to Zeref, a sight that he had grown used to over the years. As the older sibling, he often felt like he should be the one protecting Natsu, but their roles were often reversed. As the quieter of the children, Zeref was often the target of bullies in school. Natsu scared them away, being known for violent actions when angered. He was fiercely protective of Zeref, and anyone who tried bothering him found themselves facing off against a boy with the ferocity of a dragon.

Seeing that protectiveness rise in his brother made Zeref smile slightly. This only proved that it was a dream. Now, his brother was going to save them all, proving just how strong he was. Then, he and Natsu would go outside and play a game together. While Zeref wasn’t good at running and sports, he did enjoy games that involved a little more mental effort. Often times, he would compromise with Natsu and play hide and seek, something that allowed Natsu to run around as much as he wanted, while Zeref got to cleverly plan out the best place to hide from his brother.

Just imagining that happening was all it took to make Zeref feel calm, despite the situation. He could hear his mother shouting in the background, but he had lost his focus on her voice. Instead, he had retreated into his thoughts, and what was actually before him faded away from sight. If he had focused, he would have seen the way his father seemed to stand taller, glaring down at Natsu. “You…Damn you, why the hell can’t you just go away! If it wasn’t for either of you, we wouldn’t be suffering like this! Marianne and I…we’d be happy, just the two of us without the struggle of feeding two greedy, ungrateful little brats like you!”

With that, he seemed to grab Natsu harshly, lifting the boy into the air. The boy kicked out at his father, his legs swinging as he struggled in his dad’s grip. With two hands firmly grasped under Natsu’s arms, it seemed easy for the man to keep the young child at bay. Seeing this, Zeref began to frown. His dreams didn’t usually end with Natsu losing a fight. Tilting his head, he began to bite his lip nervously. “Am…am I awake?”

His quiet question seemed to get his mother’s attention. One of her hands pressed against her chest, while the other lifted to cover her mouth. Tears seemed to fall from her cheeks as she shook her head. After a moment, her hand seemed to fall to her side, revealing a forced smile underneath. “Zeref…my sweet boy…just close your eyes, it’ll be over soon. I promise.” She began walking closer to him, giving his father a wide berth to approach her eldest son. Reaching out, she brushed aside some of Zeref’s hair, making him frown and turn towards Natsu and Dad. His father suddenly seemed to throw Natsu onto the ground, making Zeref’s eyes widen.

“Natsu!” He couldn’t help himself from pushing away his mother, trying to get to his brother’s side. However, two strong arms seemed to wrap around his waist, pulling him back. His brother started to groan, rubbing his head with a grimace on his face. Seeing the motion, Zeref couldn’t help but relax ever so slightly. Dad hadn’t been too forceful, and his brother was still okay. That was all that mattered.

He felt a shaky hand begin to stroke his hair. “It’ll be okay…I’m right here, Zeref. I’ll protect you…I’m right here…” His mother began repeating that phrase, like a mantra. Zeref wondered if she was trying to convince him or herself of that comment. However, her vice-like grip didn’t let him do anything to interfere. A slight rocking seemed to shake her figure, and with his body pressed against her chest, he was dragged into the calming motion even as his father approached Natsu yet again.

Natsu seemed to scramble back on the floor, pulling away from Dad. However, Dad didn’t seem to let him get away. His hands reached out and he crouched over Natsu, grasping the boy’s neck tightly. “No…Natsu can’t breath…” Zeref squirmed again in his mother’s arms. He felt her grasp tighten again, making his stomach hurt from the pressure. “Mom…please…we have to help Natsu…” 

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” His mother’s chant changed, and Zeref felt moisture drop onto his head. The rocking of her body intensified, and as Zeref began tugging even harder at her grip, she still did not stop holding him captive by her side. Under his father’s grip, Natsu seemed to struggle just as Zeref did. The small boy’s hands clawed at the fingers wrapping around his neck, fighting for air. As he did so, his legs seemed to kick out, and he squirmed underneath his father’s weight. Zeref could hear the half-choking noise of Natsu trying to inhale, only to be incapable of getting any air past his windpipe.

Lurching forward, Zeref tried using more forceful methods of breaking free. “Natsu is hurting! Please…I can’t lose my brother…” Zeref suddenly went still, realizing what he had just said. Losing Natsu…if Natsu couldn’t breath, that meant he had no oxygen. According to what he had read, without oxygen, Natsu would die. Death wasn’t something people came back from, either.

Shaking his head, Zeref began breathing heavily, clawing at his mother’s hands to try and pull her grip away from him. “No! Natsu, I’m coming. I just have to…Mom will let me go, and I’ll…” Zeref struggled, trying to think of a new plan. He was too small, without enough muscle to break free. Natsu was moving less and less every second, and it made Zeref even more nervous. Natsu never gave up like that. He would always fight until the very end, no matter how much someone else hurt him.

“Zeref, just stop! There’s…if you go, he’ll just…” His mother trailed off, her head pressing into the back of Zeref’s head. He felt his hair tickle his neck as it brushed over it, making him frown and try and turn towards her. Something was different about her voice, a twinge to it that made Zeref think she had given up to. 

His chest rose and feel even quicker, and he began to shake his head. “No…not Natsu…protect him, Mom. I’ll…I’m not the good child. I can’t play sports, and none of the other kids like me anyway…so, it only makes sense for me…for me to go instead, right?”

A choking noise seemed to come from his mother, but her hand pressed over her mouth to muffle the noise. Her head had lifted slightly, but her single arm remained wrapped around Zeref’s chest tightly. “Oh, Zeref…I’m so sorry…” Another repetitive phrase made him frown, wondering how it was supposed to comfort him. Turning away from her, he glanced towards Natsu again. He had stopped moving.

The sight made a chill rush through Zeref. His hair stood on end, and once again, he found himself wondering if this was a dream. Maybe it was just a bad dream. It wasn’t the first nightmare he had, though usually, his nightmares were about the bullies at school, beating him up when Natsu wasn’t around. This…it was just too impossible to be anything else. Natsu was always there, for the last six years. Zeref had been in the hospital when Natsu was born, even if he didn’t remember the day. He had grown up with his brother, reading stories to him at night. He had helped clean Natsu’s scratches when he was older and fell on the sidewalk, trying to rush everywhere he went. Everywhere, every moment, Natsu was imbedded into his life. He wasn’t going to leave it, not like this.

A numbness seemed to settle over him. His body went limp in his mother’s grip, and she continued trying to stroke his hair to calm him. “It’s okay…this is just a dream…” He whispered it quietly, trying to comfort the version of his mother that his mind had manifested for him.

Her grip only tightened, her head pressing into his shoulder. “Looks like he’s out of the way…but that took far too long.” Zeref watched his father move back into the kitchen for a moment. Pulling open a drawer by the stove, Zeref watched as Dad reached inside and pulled out a chef’s knife, the silver blade gleaming in the kitchen light. “Now, let’s get rid of the last thing in our way…the last thing draining away all of our comfort…” There seemed to be a dark look in his eyes as he stumbled towards the living room again. Tripping over his own feet, his father seemed to catch himself on the counter. Righting himself, the man stayed still for a moment before continuing forward.

“No! Stay away…you’ve already…Natsu’s already…” His mother broke off, looking at any place other than Natsu’s still form. “Zeref is our son…I won’t let you do this.”

With a smirk, his father seemed to roll his eyes at her. “You don’t understand. I’m doing this for us…so, for now, just stay out of the way.” He came closer, finally standing right in front of both of them. His mother seemed to try and drag Zeref back, but they were still sitting on the floor together. On his feet, his father was much quicker than either of them were crawling around. Closing his eyes, Zeref readied himself for the pain to come as his father slashed down with the knife. The tip was being plunged towards his chest, and he knew it would hurt. 

The pain he ended up feeling was not the one he expected. His mother’s grip vanished suddenly as he was forced to the side. His arm seemed to be crushed underneath his weight, slamming into the wooden floor and making him gasp. Crying out in pain, he reached over to touch his shoulder and rub the spot that seemed to be sending spikes of pain throughout the entire left side of his body. However, touching his arm only seemed to make it hurt more, so he released it and just tried to stay silent as tears began falling down his cheeks. Glancing back towards his mother, he began to freeze for another time. The pain faded away completely, a distant memory even though it had been his entire focus just moments ago. His father stood over her, with the knife plunged into her chest.

Red seemed to stain her light blue blouse. Staring at the color, Zeref couldn’t get himself to look away. More soaked into the fabric, expanding the stain. Somewhere, a voice told him that the stain wouldn’t come out easily. He had tried helping with the laundry before, and Zeref knew he wasn’t good at getting rid of spots like that. Dad seemed to grasp her uninjured shoulder, lowering himself onto his knees as his dark green eyes widened. “Marianne…no…what have I…” His father seemed to trail off, gazing around at their living room.

A slight gasping sound was coming from Zeref, but he couldn’t seem to make the noise stop. This wasn’t real, he told himself. That was what he held onto as his father’s gaze rested on him, no longer crazed and angered. “Zeref…why didn’t you stop me?” The question lingered in Zeref’s mind, making him blink at his father. What could he have done? He had tried arguing with his father. Maybe if he had spoken up sooner, none of this would have happened. No…maybe, if he had done what he told Mom he was going to do, Natsu and Mom would still be around. He was the one who deserved to die, according to the other kids. He was the one who didn’t fit in anywhere, the one who was closer friends with teachers than other children. 

At the same time, Zeref knew he hadn’t wished for that, either. If he died, Mom would be sad. Natsu would feel so upset as well, disappointed in himself for not protecting Zeref. Gazing down at his palms, Zeref knew that he couldn’t put either of them through that. As his black eyes flickered over to the drooping form of his mother, and then to the still form of Natsu, Zeref suddenly realized that he was more alone now than ever. No one was left that cared for him. No one would keep him safe anymore. Turning back towards his father, he found the sight of the man pulling the knife out from his mother’s shoulder comforting. It was his turn next, to join Mom and Natsu. It would be peaceful, an end to this nightmare that he needed to escape from.

Instead of coming towards Zeref, however, Dad seemed to stare at the blade in his hand. He held it almost limply, and there seemed to be an emptiness to his gaze that matched the same hopelessness entering Zeref’s eyes. Seeing that look, Zeref couldn’t help but frown and wonder what his father was thinking. “I’m sorry…I can’t do this anymore…” With that, his father seemed to tighten his grip on the knife. It spun around, turning in his hand towards his own chest. Rising to his feet, Zeref reached out towards his father instinctively, just as the blade was pushed deep into his father’s body. More red joined the liquid on the floor around Mom, staining Dad’s white shirt as he collapsed on the ground.

With his hand falling limply into his lap, Zeref began sobbing. His family, they were all gone. He was alone. Flickering his eyes around, Zeref couldn’t help but stare at Natsu. He didn’t look like Mom and Dad. There was no sign of physical injury, but he still didn’t move from his spot on the floor. Weakly, Zeref began moving closer, his sobs shaking his shoulders even as he moved. “Natsu…please, you can’t leave me…” He tried pleading with the boy, but it fell on deaf ears.

Kneeling down, Zeref touched Natsu’s cheek gently. His skin was still soft and slightly warm, though it was colder than normal. He had seen shows on TV where people died. Mom had been a fan of those medical shows where doctors tried to save injured people like this. The image of one of those shows flashed in his mind, seeing a sterile facility with adults swarming around a body, working to keep a nearly-dead man alive. It was possible to restart a heart. At least, it happened in the shows. Wiping away some of his tears, Zeref didn’t care if it was real or not. He had to try, for Natsu.

He didn’t know quite how it worked. He pressed a hand to Natsu’s chest, trying to push down on it. It seemed to resist motion, but Zeref forced it to move with as much strength as he had. He continued pushing against Natsu’s chest, unsure of how many times he tried to force his brother’s heart to beat. After a moment, he stopped and frowned, trying to remember what else they did on those shows. Blinking, Zeref inhaled sharply and began puffing air into Natsu’s mouth. Oxygen kept the body alive, so Natsu needed someone to give him air since he wasn’t breathing.

Zeref didn’t know how long he repeated this process for. His arms became numb, losing themselves in an endless rhythm of pressing on Natsu’s chest. Other times, his chest began to burn as he used too much of his own air to breath for Natsu. These discomforts meant little to him. Sirens were heard in the air after a moment, but even then, he did not stop. The door slammed open and people swarmed inside. Some wore blue uniforms that looked strangely bulky with a lot of stuff attached to their weird-looking belts. Those were the police, Zeref thought numbly. His mind was working slowly, too slowly to even recognize what was going on around him.

The living room seemed to be flashing with multi-colored lights streaming in from the windows. Hues of red and blue seemed to spin around the walls, but Zeref ignored them and kept working. Others seemed to crowd around him and voices seemed to fill the room. Someone knelt down by his side, speaking, but his ears didn’t seem to be capable of registering what the officer was saying. After a while, she seemed to stand and move towards the others, inspecting his father and mother instead.

Before long, people with face masks seemed to join Zeref around Natsu. Equipment like the stuff he saw on shows with Mom was dragged in around Natsu by the doctors. He felt two hands push his arms away, and he gazed up at the eyes of a man giving him a sad smile. “We’ll take over, alright? You did a great job, so you just rest and let us help him.”

This time, Zeref seemed to hear the man’s voice. While Zeref seemed to have blurry vision from a lack of sleep and from his own tears, he could see graying hair resting on the man’s head. “You’ll…you’ll save Natsu?” His voice was quiet, and despite the storm of emotions within him, it came out almost monotone.

He felt the man squeeze his shoulder gently, while the other doctors pushed away Natsu’s shirt and began pressing rectangular pads to his chest. Wires stretched from them to a machine on the ground. An odd bag seemed to be placed over Natsu’s mouth as well, with someone pushing the bag open and shut in calm intervals. Zeref struggled to tear his eyes away from all of this and look at the man pushing him away from his brother. “We’ll do everything we can.”

Closing his eyes, Zeref hunched over and inhaled deeply. “Bring him back…if you don’t bring him back, I’ll never forgive any of you.” He was supposed to be the one to bring Natsu back. If he gave the task over to them and they failed, it would be his fault that Natsu died. 

There was a slight sound of laughter from the adult watching him. “Such a serious look for a young child. Relax, our team is already on it. Plus, those officers are going to find the one who did this to you. We’ll make sure they don’t hurt you again.”

Zeref’s eyes opened slightly, hardening as he gazed into his lap. No, his father wouldn’t hurt anyone ever again. Memories of going camping with his family flashed in his mind. His father had taught both him and Natsu how to fish on that vacation. While Zeref had squirmed at the idea, Natsu had taken to it right away. Zeref had seen it as a pointless effort, especially since they returned almost every fish they caught. Still, it had been a way for the three of them to bond. When they went back to the campsite, they’d work together to make dinner over an open fire, and tell stories to each other in an attempt to frighten each other. Dad had been so happy then, or at least, Zeref thought he was.

Blinking, the image vanished within his mind. Dad loved them, he was certain of it. Zeref remembered his words from just before he died, and he slowly wrapped his arms around his legs. Glancing upward, he saw the medics seeming to smile and celebrate a success. Natsu’s chest was rising and falling, but oddly, Zeref couldn’t bring himself to smile over the sight. Why didn’t Zeref stop his father? If he had, Natsu never would have been in danger. In fact, if he didn’t exist, Natsu wouldn’t get in nearly as many fights. Natsu’s life would be so much safer and better…if he didn’t exist. 

As his eyes drifted shut, he felt a blanket being wrapped around his shoulders. It provided a warmth to his body, even as a never-ending chill settled deep into his heart. The last thing he saw was Natsu’s eyes shifting open, his gaze immediately spotting Zeref and giving him a weak, toothy grin. That smile…seeing it again finally gave Zeref the will to smile himself, though it was a very faint smile that brought little light to his face. Despite the safety separation could provide, Natsu wished to remain with him. So long as that remained true, Zeref would not force him away…though one day, he would find a way to obtain the peace of nonexistence, and end the eternal nightmare of his life.


End file.
